COCK BLOCK CARLOS
When it came to cock blocks
our friend was champ (cha-ching).

With the aptitude and finesse
of a seasoned chess-player
he would setup multiple cock blocks
in separate rooms
simultaneously.

He was a guru
-a sexually depraved Bobby Fischer.
We all admired and despised him.

He could plant ideas in women’s heads
like an avid gardener
traps
& barriers that would spring on a trigger word
or phrase
subliminally –he was that good
and when it happened to you
when you would see him pass by the doorway
with that self-satisfied grin
and you knew that he knew that you knew
you wanted to give that smug little shit a swift kick
into next Saturday
instead we called him ‘Cock Block Carlos’.

His name is Steve
and he has already cock blocked you
three parties from now.

HUMOUR
Humour is a bitch of a thing
fascinating that it allows
us to laugh off our mistakes
when things don’t go as planned
or to agree enthusiastically
to doing something that we
would absolutely hate to do
or that would not be possible in the least
without killing us
in order to address it’s absurdity.

Humour is more than a
defense mechanism
we need it to grow and to thrive
as people
when faced with the
constant chaos and futility of life
and there is nothing more heart-warming
than hearing somebody laugh
for without it we would
surely be insane.

We wouldn’t smile.
We wouldn’t blink.
We would all be psychopaths
teetering on the edge
of the abyss.

So the next time something
goes horribly wrong
just laugh
and be grateful that you can.

Sometimes it’s the only thing that gets us by.