Beating the Shit Out of my Garage

I was in the garage
smoking and drinking
not really high but
not fully on the ground either.
It felt like a good time to throw on
an old MP3 mix
on my 30 dollar CD player
press shuffle
and play.
See what’s going on in there.

Cypress Hill came on
‘Ain’t Going Out Like That’
I love that song!
As the bass rolled in
I became so engrossed by the music
that I completely lost it.
I threw a full beer at my car.
“Fuck yeah!”
Then I beat the windshield
with an old steel shovel
before overturning
the plastic shelving units
from Canadian Tire.
I spray-painted
‘Fuck My Life!’
on the wall
threw a heater
at the fan
spun the weed-whacker around
like a helicopter
while screaming my ex’s name
and when I was finally finished
with lawn chairs
sticking out of the ceiling
I sat down
on the only one left
then wept profusely
as the song ended.

Say what you will
but you cannot deny
that I really get into my music.

next time I’ll close the garage door.


8 thoughts on “Beating the Shit Out of my Garage

  1. Marc

    I’m chilling here in Costa Rica, swinging in a hammock, reading this and laughing my ass off out loud not knowing if you are serious or fucking telling stories. It really doesn’t matter, your a crazy bastard regardless bro!
    Keep going man – loving it!
    ~ M


    1. HJM Post author

      hahahah…thanks man! And fuck you for swinging on a hammock in Costa Rica while I suffer here at my desk staring at Melissa’s ass.



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