AKA But Not the Musical AKA

Here you have it a collected stream of consciousness
Aka rant ramblings on life and death for Vickers aka mushroomed field-walker aka by now mostly made up of LSD
Aka for a hoax in response to a hoax which will teach you that you cannot rely on the internet fuck I would have taught you that for free aka just add it onto my tuition aka look at me I get to watch movies all day aka no I’m not jealous at all somebody has to work around here aka go watch Bladerunner for the 127th time you know that one scene was sexual assault doesn’t matter that it was against a robot or filmed in the eighties
aka Gingers: Collect them all!

AKA I Will Not Go Quietly
Bring your death ignite the blaze light it all up
try to take me down
I will not go without an explosive ending
Aka atomic combustion aka scorched earth aka all things wither, Clarice, all things must pass
come test me and try me and try to take me quietly
we shall see how you fare
the end is always here
and here I am waiting there

I am taunted by sleep gravity aka sleep is death put mildly
I’ve had my past my past is dead my head is filled with tombstones
aka another doll sleeps with her head on the wrong way
aka I have rested my drink let the demons fly until the dawn bursts through the window to frame our lives like dust in light aka spectral fairies aka consumable wicker gods
-let them all dine on my tab

I’ve had my damnation I have earned it
Aka black magic hoodoo aka upside down crucifixion aka the devil on your couch
Aka the darkness! The darkness is spreading!
aka there are monsters in the attic (right up here, Baby)
there isn’t a cathedral left standing untainted plastic Christ fake blood dead shepherd
and there are no angels in that price-tag Louis Vuitton
aka there is an abyss within a porcelain face so beautifully empty
aka lipstick on a void
aka sisters of Cane and glad-handed sycophants
aka I am surrounded by philistines
and where did it leave me but here?
A big bag of broken jumble confused junkie whiskey summers
Aka a stranger in the alley hollowed broken-hearted cheated
Aka a discarded mannequin in the hallway helpless and unfeeling
aka the distant prick of pain you don’t even look at what you don’t want to feel
aka a violent storm trapped in a globe on your desk in a vase in an old man’s face distant and unashamed
aka I am a million miles away from you standing right here
and I will not go quietly
so come and try to take me
now is as good a time as any
otherwise known as the moment that will change everything
I am waiting

I have been forged brazen by cruel winter
aka I walk these broken lands with an assured smile
aka I spit charged electricity in the face of all adversity
aka I am the last strong haunted tower -burn the whole world down and I am left with my only friend the cockroach
and still I would charge at the beast aka I will not relent aka I will never cower
and I would burn this whole forest down just to find a flower
not one so poisonous and wicked -decorative skin you weak frail thing letting every snake slide right in because you don’t know how to love
aka I can see through your luscious locks aka such a pretty face such a shame such is life
aka train-wrecked black hole beauty you beat my brains
You beat my brains
Aka smash my mind and all sorts of things will come crawling out
Aka the trinkets the trash the shiny empty cases hangovers and hope (fuck it all)
Leave it
but I am not leaving this table so bring me God and a cold drink
I have a message for him:
You come and try to take me
I will take you down with me
I am waiting for you
always
and I will not go quietly

I am in love with this world with the smiles and the pain
aka with the fields and cold steel
with colour the sun on her face pale legs tangled on the bed
dark crease shadows in the mirror where once was arrogant unapologetic youth
It’s all a decision
aka the choice aka mistakes aka I perceive through shame
and I love every minute of all of it
so I will not go quietly into the box into the hole into the mouth of worlds after
Aka into the arms of blackness armies of stars
aka casually slip into a tear in the galaxy
Aka the yawning abyss aka the horizonless void aka the fathomless empty
Otherwise known as a good place to start
Otherwise known as a fresh womb to crawl into to begin again to rise to live to breath and love and die
Aka to die living aka to catch more breath
And now is as good a time as any
To come to try and take me
It will not be done quite so easily
As I will not go quietly

I’ve earned my damnation
distant and unashamed
you beat my brains (I smile in pain)
I am so much in love with this world
Im here for the dance the elaborate stage music and lights
And I die every day fighting for life

Bring your death ignite the blaze light it all up
I will not go without an explosive ending
aka a levelled building
aka a scorched mark on the planet where once I stood
aka this will end in blood, tears and sirens
Death is the irony of life aka death takes us all alive
aka fading consciousness this life is a dream this is not a dream
aka death swallows everything aka the great bastard nothing aka the never-ending after
never saw and never seen
aka everything fades in time we are masters and nothing
aka shadows in the night aka new blood on the ancient crimson wall
and that is all
so come have at me
here I am so come and try to take me
now is as good a time as any
I am waiting for you
always

and I will not go quietly.

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