I’ve fallen for you
and I’m still falling
like out of a plane
without a parachute
or from a building
without a net
without a care
without a worry
without any concern
at all
it’s just so rare
that sometimes
it just feels good
to let yourself
fall
to feel yourself
falling
and when I hit the ground
as I surely will
it will be with
open arms
and a
smile.
One of these mornings
I am going to get up
and not have to think about this
first thing
and when that time comes
I will be so happy
because I will know then
that the sadness
has finally left.
When you’re a teenager
you scream out your angst
rage and pain
across every available space
that you can find
in loud colours.
When you’re an adult
you keep all of it behind a smile
and pour tea.
I saw her at a funeral.
She was so devastatingly hauntingly
beautiful
that it broke my heart
with a hammer
just to see her
sitting alone
crying.
I never thought that I could
truly express how vivid that
singular moment was
how rich in colour
how it struck me so hard that
when her eyes met mine
my soul crumbled to dust
and scattered in the wind
like ashes freed from an urn.
Some things are so wrenchingly poignant that
they cut you deep
burn into your stomach
carve you out
and you know you will
never see it or them again
and are left to struggle
with the meaning of its impact
until the memory of it fades
into nothing
and it all can seem so
brutally meaningless
nothing but a cruel joke
by a faceless god
until you realize
that you were missing the point
all along
that before you entered the room
before you saw her sitting there
crying
before she broke your heart by
not doing anything at all
it had been so long since last
you cared
so long since last
you felt anything at all
and it took her to finally make you
realize it.
hernanjmonzon.com 