I frowned
at the four tall cans in the fridge
as my big fat yellow
more-butch-than-brains cat
leaned heavily into my legs
almost knocking me the hell over.

“Come on, I need those things!” I complained.
My cat gave a low curling whine
that I understood more than most
and flopped onto its back
wanting me to rub his belly.

“No way, you selfish prick
I’m grabbing a tall can!”

Four tall cans
was all I had but
that ought to do it for me
then I could fall directly into
a deep sea of sleep until whenever
I wanted to.

Now for a cigarette.

My other cat accosted me in the hallway
with the full authority of knowing that
whatever I had to do at the time
could not have been as important as
petting or feeding her
so she scrambled towards my legs
chirping incessantly.

I tried to shuffle around her but
the thing rushed to match my steps
forcing me to find a new place
to land my feet and to stumble about
in the process of doing so
because she was a furry little idiot and
I was an overgrown moron
and here we were
doing this dance and all
that I wanted to do was possibly
make it to the garage and away
from this daunting furry hazard
but the dance continued
right up to the door
so I laughed to myself:
“Ha!”

Life is so absurd
sometimes
so ridiculously funny
but you can either make murder
or music out of it
and the difference
means everything to you
and especially to those that
depend on you

so I picked up the furry little danger-bag
and held it purring
close to my chest.

“I love you.” I said.