Drunk Kid at the Bar

I was leaning against the bar
absently stirring my drink
when there was a tap on my shoulder:

“Hey, get the fuck out of my way. I need a beer.”

I decided to ignore it. Maybe it would go away.
But no, there were several taps on my shoulder now.

“Didn’t you fucking hear me? Move it! HEY BUDDY! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY! NOW! I SAID NOW!”

I sighed, stood up, turned fully around and looked down at this college kid
that appeared to be the source of the problem.
This boy
who looked like he enjoyed mom’s cooking
sleeping in on Saturdays with his thumb in his mouth
like an infant
and generally sauntering through life in his pyjamas
also looked like he would hurt himself a lot more
in the process of trying to hurt me.

I didn’t even say anything. I just looked at him. But I suppose it was enough
because he immediately changed his tune:
“Hey man, I’m really sorry. I’m really fucked up right now. Sorry, man, sorry.
I’m really fucked up.”
He kept repeating it and patting me on the shoulder
and it was pissing me off more than his initial bravado
until his friends dragged him away.

He smiled and gave me the thumbs up
like that strange, one-sided altercation
had somehow made us friends.

I don’t know if he was trying to impress his friends or his girl
if he was really that fucked up or was just an asshole.
Most likely a fine mixture of all of that.
What I do know is that he’s lucky he didn’t try that
on my good friend standing beside me
because he would have fucking killed him.

I returned to the bar and to absently stirring my drink.

Fucking kids. I thought.



9 thoughts on “Drunk Kid at the Bar

    1. HJM Post author

      actually I thought about that and that’s what I’m going to do. With each one beginning with ‘leaning against the bar minding my own business.’


  1. sitateofani

    ooohhh i have those attitude a lot in here (Bali), drunken kids acting like the king of the worlds, scootering like crazy while screaming here and there (who mostly australians…stating the fact without being racist)…pathetic


    1. HJM Post author

      Bali? Wow…I just looked that up on the globe. Scootering like crazy -I love that description. Yeah they mostly leave me be. I won’t take any shit from the children but these days I don’t have to because they usually give me space to have my drink on in peace…usually.


  2. atlasivy

    haha! I hope people don’t see me like that :p

    Except, I don’t go to bars, not 21 until June. And I’m a chick, but I can be an asshole when I’m drunk…


    1. HJM Post author

      I envy your youth. And yeah chicks can be the worst assholes when they’re drunk but I still prefer to hang out with them anyways. I went out last night and had to go rescue my friend because when he drinks he DRINKS and get’s lost. I found him luckily on the main strip. He finally texted me back. I consider it a win.



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