Big Fat Fly in the Dead of Winter

It’s the dead of winter and there is a big fat fly marauding around my garage coming closer and closer to my head as it sweeps out trying to get the most of the situation and I sit here writing this to Stevie Wonder with a used blunt in the ashtray sipping on a glass […]

How to Kill a Ginger

Vickers was a fire-breathing ginger capable of mass-destruction even in the unlikeliest of places and therefore had to be kept under constant supervision lest he destroy your peace of mind, soul and your five-year relationship while going to the fridge to get a beer. I had spent the last half-hour trying to kill him with […]

Good Ol’ Tommy

I saw an old college buddy at the grocery store. I haven’t seen him in years so I waved at him excitedly with both hands with all the subtlety of the Kool-aid Man crashing through a wall. Oh Yeah! “Hey Fucker!” I shouted gleefully across the frozen produce section. I waited for him to register […]

Problem Solved

I had no interest in her at first because everybody liked her even the girls and all I heard about was her..her…HER! And I was under the mindset that if everyone all really liked something than it couldn’t have been very good. I had recently started working at a textile factory watching fabric spin around […]

Drunk Kid at the Bar

I was leaning against the bar absently stirring my drink when there was a tap on my shoulder: “Hey, get the fuck out of my way. I need a beer.” I decided to ignore it. Maybe it would go away. But no, there were several taps on my shoulder now. “Didn’t you fucking hear me? […]

One Hot Day & Two Hot Blondes

We went to an outdoor concert. Big venue. It was me, my buddy, our girlfriends years into relationships that were turning bitter. We both had just gotten over some big fights but there was tension still lingering and lurking all over the place behind words, gestures, looks, swipes at character made here and there. As […]

A Letter and a Gun

I fell in love with my first cousin. Yeah, I know. But I’m not ashamed of it. You should have met her then you might understand. My last night in Buenos Aires we got drunk and I put my hand on her knee. That was it. I realized what I was doing and removed it […]

After the After-Party

After all the beautiful woman have fucked your soul until there is nothing left. After everywhere you go all you see are the damned -the expressionless eyes hanging lifelessly over vacant grins -the halfwit producers of the mounds of consumer waste piling up at the edges of the earth for nothing. After everything you touch […]