Monday’s Out to Kill Me Kill Me

Monday is a duplicitous treacherous whore a midnight murderer (you’re next -it will find you) a useless begging in a dingy alley Monday is going to kill me kill me dead just like my brain -dead just like my soul -dead dead dead Monday is an old man that doesn’t want to get up from […]

This is What Makes You a Writer

This is for all the times that you stubbornly wrote tired, half-drunk, drunk at work in-between doing other things beyond frustrated because you haven’t had a clear day just for writing in months and it was always rush this rush that looking at the clock for compassion where there was none writing on the backs […]

The Manufactured Spirit of the Rat Race

Let’s say that you actually have a good idea. In this era of capitalism you go find yourself some investors that believe in it enough to begin laying the groundwork for a production line. You have a business model, financial plan design specs; all the groundwork plus manufacturing equipment ready to start pumping out units […]

Everything is Out to Get You While You Sleep

You are most vulnerable while you are sleeping and it is for this reason that I give my bedroom a thorough inspection before I am satisfied with my surroundings enough to lay down to rest and this is after the routine perimeter check of the household to ensure that all possible entrances are firmly secured: […]

Poetry at Work

I’m on the Clock: As sure as a running clock or a car running over your dog people have a bad habit of coming up to my desk at work everyday and talking to me about all kinds of crazy horseshit because there is a large neon sign positioned directly above my monitor that reads: […]

How to Kill a Ginger

Vickers was a fire-breathing ginger capable of mass-destruction even in the unlikeliest of places and therefore had to be kept under constant supervision lest he destroy your peace of mind, soul and your five-year relationship while going to the fridge to get a beer. I had spent the last half-hour trying to kill him with […]

You Can’t Write For Them

Like I Have a Choice A buddy of mine came up to me the other day and said: “I finally read a few of your posts and I really like your writing but I found that a lot of your stuff is really dark. What the hell happened to you?” “I fell down some stairs.” […]

Everything is Breaking Down Around Me (Fuck Everything)

Phone’s dead. Internet’s down. Car’s a smokin’. Toaster’s fucked. Computer’s fried like eggs. The television went for a shit and never came back. Girlfriend’s not working         -she’s limp and unresponsive. The drapes are ripped (you’re welcome). The goldfish are floating upside down         –and I don’t even own goldfish. The cats are […]

One Hot Day & Two Hot Blondes

We went to an outdoor concert. Big venue. It was me, my buddy, our girlfriends years into relationships that were turning bitter. We both had just gotten over some big fights but there was tension still lingering and lurking all over the place behind words, gestures, looks, swipes at character made here and there. As […]

A Letter and a Gun

I fell in love with my first cousin. Yeah, I know. But I’m not ashamed of it. You should have met her then you might understand. My last night in Buenos Aires we got drunk and I put my hand on her knee. That was it. I realized what I was doing and removed it […]