It’s always time for the rodeo
when I’ve accepted the fetal position
as a way of life for fear
of putting on the clown suit.
Doubt comes barging in
like a mad cocaine pirate
that I welcome on-board
with streamers, ribbons and balloons
as my dreams vacuously congeal
into dried husks so often that I pray
for monsters under my bed
with dollars in my teeth.
It’s all relative to whatever
disaster I touch and mold into shape
using the clay that mother gave me.
I almost feel like begging
for the knife in these alleyways
filled with uncertain strangers with
but all they do is
kill me with conversation until
I trip on slumber wondering
why the pen is so heavy
when everything seems so much like air
on which floats the dust
of long dead sheep.
After dreaming about a place
I will take a pilgrimage there
get out of my car and
looking for something
though I can never
than just a house
like a demented mule
I will keep at it.
Maybe I’m searching for
in nothing but
my dreams draw me out
-they just do.
I have hope that
one day I will
giving me a meaning as to
I keep seeing it.
It just feels like
there should be
You can never fully explain your dreams to anyone
and I don’t know why some people bother
because you really have to be there right there
in order to truly understand its impact.
You must personally taste the
experience the movement and
interpret the sounds yourself.
The light, colour and depth of this world
you can never convey to someone else
as it is only meant for you.
Sure, dreams mean something
but seldom what anyone says
especially not what books on dreams will tell you
how this image or vision sequence signifies fear, loss, anxiety
how that would explain who you were in a past life
as though it were part of an equation of some kind
that, my friend
is utter bullshit from nothing more than scam artists
and astrological fiends.
Do you really think that we are that simple
or that it ends there?
Dreams can open many things to you
same as life
you just have to be willing to
swallow your fear
restrain your judgment
and take a look around
at what’s really there.
Each dream has its own secret
its lair is a trip
sometimes they are a
harrowing descent into madness
and at others
a fleeting glimpse
up the skirts of angels.
So do yourself a favour
next time you get up
take a moment and try to recall it
or when it comes to you during your morning meeting
indulge yourself in a little recollection
your boss and their bullshit will be there the next day too
and you just never know
You are most vulnerable while you are sleeping and it is for this reason that I give my bedroom a thorough inspection before I am satisfied with my surroundings enough to lay down to rest and this is after the routine perimeter check of the household to ensure that all possible entrances are firmly secured:
I will turn over the pillows
to make sure there is nothing living under there
check under the bed with a flashlight
for God knows what
open the closet doors quickly
in order to surprise what may be lurking inside
and also look behind the drapes
because you just never know.
They say that you grow out of things.
That’s a lie
although granted maybe some things you should
but my imagination
has never been my friend
and it begins to question me as soon as the lights go out
as to whether
something might crawl into my ear
to lay eggs in my brain
at some point during the night
or whether I would open my eyes in the midst of sleep
to find myself
staring into the harrowing face
of a dead child
or entombed under a blanket of frenzied spiders
perhaps buried alive in a wooden coffin
in some field nobody goes to anymore
or duct-taped to a wooden chair
slowly regaining consciousness
to the sound of a maniac’s chainsaw.
Late at night
these become valid questions
and I believe that my methods
may have proven effective thus far
as I have never awakened to find myself
strapped to a metallic table with
aliens clinically examining my genitals
with missing limbs
or fully encased in Jell-O
and so every morning once I realize
that I am intact and unmolested
I will go about my routine
like an absolute hero
knowing that I am safe for another day
as nothing horrifying had happened to me
in my most vulnerable state of sleep.