Everything is Out to Get You While You Sleep

You are most vulnerable while you are sleeping and it is for this reason that I give my bedroom a thorough inspection before I am satisfied with my surroundings enough to lay down to rest and this is after the routine perimeter check of the household to ensure that all possible entrances are firmly secured:

I will turn over the pillows
to make sure there is nothing living under there
check under the bed with a flashlight
for God knows what
open the closet doors quickly
in order to surprise what may be lurking inside
and also look behind the drapes
because you just never know.

They say that you grow out of things.
Thatโ€™s a lie
although granted maybe some things you should
but my imagination
has never been my friend
and it begins to question me as soon as the lights go out
as to whether
something might crawl into my ear
to lay eggs in my brain
at some point during the night
or whether I would open my eyes in the midst of sleep
to find myself
staring into the harrowing face
of a dead child
or entombed under a blanket of frenzied spiders
perhaps buried alive in a wooden coffin
in some field nobody goes to anymore
or duct-taped to a wooden chair
slowly regaining consciousness
to the sound of a maniacโ€™s chainsaw.

Late at night
these become valid questions

and I believe that my methods
may have proven effective thus far
as I have never awakened to find myself
strapped to a metallic table with
aliens clinically examining my genitals

with missing limbs
or fully encased in Jell-O

and so every morning once I realize
that I am intact and unmolested
I will go about my routine
like an absolute hero
knowing that I am safe for another day
as nothing horrifying had happened to me
in my most vulnerable state of sleep.

Not yet.

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13 thoughts on “Everything is Out to Get You While You Sleep

  1. I stopped doing all those things when I realized it’s futile. The worst things come to me in my sleep, the imagination I try my best to keep in check during the day goes to town at night and has its way with me… I have the most awesome/terrifying/vivid/cool/freaky dreams ever. And what’s worse, sometimes the next night (or any other night, even years later) they start where they left off, so I get no break… I don’t care too much what’s in my closets or under the bed, cannot be worse than what’s coming in my dreams ๐Ÿ™‚
    And you’re right, you never grow out of things, you just do them differently ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. I am the same. My dreams are so vivid, some continue like a series, and I often dream of the same places that I have physically been to as well as majestic landscapes that could not possibly exist here.

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