The Manufactured Spirit of the Rat Race

Let’s say that you actually have a good idea. In this era of capitalism you go find yourself some investors that believe in it enough to begin laying the groundwork for a production line. You have a business model, financial plan design specs; all the groundwork plus manufacturing equipment ready to start pumping out units […]

Everything is Out to Get You While You Sleep

You are most vulnerable while you are sleeping and it is for this reason that I give my bedroom a thorough inspection before I am satisfied with my surroundings enough to lay down to rest and this is after the routine perimeter check of the household to ensure that all possible entrances are firmly secured: […]

Poetry at Work

I’m on the Clock: As sure as a running clock or a car running over your dog people have a bad habit of coming up to my desk at work everyday and talking to me about all kinds of crazy horseshit because there is a large neon sign positioned directly above my monitor that reads: […]

How to Kill a Ginger

Vickers was a fire-breathing ginger capable of mass-destruction even in the unlikeliest of places and therefore had to be kept under constant supervision lest he destroy your peace of mind, soul and your five-year relationship while going to the fridge to get a beer. I had spent the last half-hour trying to kill him with […]

Good Ol’ Tommy

I saw an old college buddy at the grocery store. I haven’t seen him in years so I waved at him excitedly with both hands with all the subtlety of the Kool-aid Man crashing through a wall. Oh Yeah! “Hey Fucker!” I shouted gleefully across the frozen produce section. I waited for him to register […]

There is a Growing Sickness on the Web

I’m always at a party somewhere and it’s killing me but the alcohol eases the pain of being around other people like my friend who shoves his phone in my face and says, “Hey Man, you GOTTA see THIS!” as he starts a video and although I probably didn’t want to see whatever he had […]

Everything is Breaking Down Around Me (Fuck Everything)

Phone’s dead. Internet’s down. Car’s a smokin’. Toaster’s fucked. Computer’s fried like eggs. The television went for a shit and never came back. Girlfriend’s not working         -she’s limp and unresponsive. The drapes are ripped (you’re welcome). The goldfish are floating upside down         –and I don’t even own goldfish. The cats are […]

Problem Solved

I had no interest in her at first because everybody liked her even the girls and all I heard about was her..her…HER! And I was under the mindset that if everyone all really liked something than it couldn’t have been very good. I had recently started working at a textile factory watching fabric spin around […]

Isabeta

I was on a military base just south of the Brazilian border and had just returned from hanging out at a bar inside of a grocery store. My aunt had called me out to the front yard to meet a teacher that lived across the neighbourhood. Her name was Isabeta and she was spoiled with […]