Everything is Breaking Down Around Me (Fuck Everything)

Phone’s dead.
Internet’s down.
Car’s a smokin’.
Toaster’s fucked.
Computer’s fried like eggs.
The television went for a shit
and never came back.
Girlfriend’s not working
        -she’s limp and unresponsive.
The drapes are ripped (you’re welcome).
The goldfish are floating upside down
        –and I don’t even own goldfish.
The cats are scheming and duplicitous.
The light bulbs have flashed-out and now they’re gone.
        -Yeah, all of them.
        -Yeah, all at once.

The neighbours are out on their front lawn
wearing cow costumes again,
barking at passing cars.

Stompin’ Tom is dead.
Somebody ate all the meatloaf.

My stomach has rotted out to Hell.
I’m almost forty so I’m fucked
and the bottle’s starting to win.
There’s a deranged monkey on my back.
It keeps winking at me
like some sort of damned pervert.
I answer the phone
        -it’s a dick-punch from God
and my face is a pile of shit.

Everything is breaking down around me,

even me.

(shrugs) So fuck everything, I guess…

even you.


16 thoughts on “Everything is Breaking Down Around Me (Fuck Everything)

  1. S.

    It feels ironic to hit “Like” when it’s one of those days when you’ve had it with everything around you (yeah, us/the people included), I don’t like it but I like it…


    1. HJM Post author

      I must say I’m either in bit of a rut lately or am just not having the best winter because I’m trying to write something nice and light but it’s not working because the piece I’m posting now isn’t any happier. I’ll try harder next time.


      1. S.

        You should write exactly what you feel. If you don’t feel nice and light why would you even try? At least that is what I do. And whoever has a problem with that, can… shove it, I guess. And your darker writing is at least equally good, if not better sometimes, it has an alluring edge. Don’t worry, spit it out!


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