When the summer moon
kisses the night ocean
it creates a luminous walkway
upon the glistening surface.
A haunting white ribbon
stretching right out to shore.
An ethereal passage of light
inviting out to
all eternity
the bravest of souls
and the already dead
all the same.
From within the great and terrible
darkness…
I heard the most beautiful voice
sing.
It’s hard to see the stars
from the gallows
or a smile through tears.
It’s hard to see rot beneath beauty
hope beneath shame
love beneath all that hate.
It’s hard to see change at the end of a gun
peace through the flames
or God through all that pain.
It’s hard not to bury
not to burn
not to break
because it’s hard to see the way.
And it gets harder to see
every day.
Not every good person wins.
Not every bad person pays.
Not every smart person
knows the way.
Karma is a story that we tell ourselves
so that we sleep better at night
with our debts.
With our children beside us
we look out the window
and only see night
but sometimes we can also see
a distant light.
Sometimes it’s enough
to wake them up
so that they can see it too.
Dozy cat
purring mound of fur
yawning on my belly
all paws
whiskers
and a barbell moustache smile.
It stretches out
with laughing eyes
and returns to sleep
with enviable speed.
I drove through Mennonite country
past sleeping tractors
and unmanned booths selling
flowers and firewood.
I entered the campground
and smiled broadly at the
over-excited blonde who still
didn’t know where the ice-box was
or how to open it when she did.
I drove down to the docks beside the beach.
I pulled my car right up to a picnic table
and cleaned off a public grill that was so
rickety you had to battle with it
even to get out a few decent burgers.
Chicken was out of the question.
Trust me, I tried
-unless you like them burned and raw at the same time
only in different places.
I was enjoying my time
shirtless and smiling
in the evening sunset
when a woman came down the road with a small boy
and looked to the beach
then looked over at me.
Which way was she going to go
I wondered as I sipped my beer.
The road swung wide around where I was
so she decided to cut across the grass
the opposite way
right towards me.
“Ha!” I said to the grill.
It said nothing back.
I watched the woman come.
The evening sunlight painted her like a brush
as she walked like a queen
eyes like thrones.
Magnificence in a summer dress.
She was a poem, a painting, a motion picture.
A face to rule your heart
stared at mine with azure eyes
you could sail across towards
nothing if you wanted to -didn’t matter.
It was hopeless.
I was besotted.
It’s happened before.
It’ll happen again.
Most people only fell in love
a couple of times.
I fell in love every damn day.
Come play. Come play.
Take my heart, it’s yours.
Play with it. It’s okay if you drop it or
break it.
I don’t care. I don’t care.
I am strong. I can fix it. I can take it.
I just need to know
from that look in your eyes
for one moment like this
that you would
let me in that you would
have me and I could continue
on
smiling laughing loving
you from right here
so far away
so close.
She was right in front of me now.
The burgers were burning.
Fuck them.
Her eyes still watched me.
I could tell she was demure.
Classy. I could picture her laughing
into her tea glass in a lavish garden
hitting me with a pillow
kissing my ear
“Hello.” She said.
“Hello.” I answered, smiling.
She smiled and turned away.
The boy waved sheepishly.
I waved back.
‘Do yourself a favour, Kid.’ I thought.
‘Grow up strong and go out and fight
for somebody that’s as worthy as your mother.’
I returned my attention back to the grill
and started whistling as I flipped the burgers.
A girl soon came down the road
far too young for me
they usually were
these days.
She looked to the beach
then looked over at me.
Which way was she going to go
I wondered as I sipped my beer.
The road swung wide around where I was
so she decided to cut across the grass
the opposite way
right towards me.
“Ha!” I said to the grill.
It said nothing back.
This is me in here
trapped, tragic and tearing
out life in words
worlds whittled
out from sadness
out into the dark from light
out from my hand
out like a melody
from the tree
from which robins sing.
I speak the language of birds
calamitous
harmony in my happiness
when I am alone always
beneath the tree
fielded and frankly forgotten
with no other human in sight
I can breathe
finally
breathe out dreams
and this is me this is really
me.
In a moment all at once
all together the birds
leave on impulse
a unified cluster arcing over the
wide wondering blue
shimmering singing
painting my sky with wings
powering through the air
cutting like a
whispering wind
and I laugh and take joy
as in a moment I realize
that this is the sound of
God
and if he smiles at all
then this is him
smiling.
It’s the dead of winter
and there is a
big fat fly
marauding around my garage
coming closer and closer
to my head
as it sweeps out
trying to get the most
of the situation
and I sit here
writing this
to Stevie Wonder
with a used blunt
in the ashtray
sipping on a glass of Scotch.
I light a smoke.
The fly still gets closer.
Somewhere in Western China
someone is fucking
a blow-up doll.
hernanjmonzon.com 