Beneath the frozen ground
I can see summer.
I heard it was coming
in the loose gossip
I had a dream
that leaves were climbing
back upon the trees
like little green soldiers.
all the birds
will come back
all at once
and the girls
will break out the
thin loud dresses
from the closet cobwebs.
Nice…4th para should have been the closing one! 😉
You’re right! I changed it. I like it better. Thank you.
Don’t we love to take away, chop to make our poetry better, we bleed…great work Hernan!!!
Thanks, Arjun! I’m getting there. I’m just not there yet. In fact, I’m not even sure where ‘there’ is.
Ditto and I’m so tired of asking, trying to figure this ‘where’…given up…let it be, they be, me be
“thin loud dresses”: I like the idea of using sounds for something without a voice. Really nice.
Thank you! Yes, there is honestly so much you can do with how you describe things. I am actually realizing in rewriting an old novel how to properly use semi-colons and dashes and how punctuation can be better used to emphasize the timing of how things are read in a sentence. It just blows me away how much you can do with language and how little we actually utilize it. There is always so much more to learn. Looking forward to reading more of your stuff. Keep it coming!
You’re welcome. I think you’re right. We think sometimes that everything has been done, but you’re right in that writers have done a lot in writing but there still is so much more that we can do. Punctuation is a special thing in writing. I like how you said you’ll be using it. I’m a big fan of semi-colons and dashes actually. Keep your work coming, as well.
Brilliant, as always!! Makes me long to dig into my closet for my thin, loud dresses!! 🙂
Yeah, me too!
lololol….ok, now I have a vision of you in a thin, loud dress and THOSE glasses I so love. Sigh….way to send me off.
And thank you!
And you are welcome!
Sounds perfect to me!